WHO WE MEET

Destiny is a clear favorite. Coming from a group home, Destiny reports that friends "bought me clothes to get here. I have nothing." Her background is rough, but luckily for her she has strong brows, a Disney Princess face and a story that is perfect for reality TV. We're rooting for you, Destiny.

Speaking of Disney Princesses, we also get to meet a lady named Jasmine. Jasmine's nickname is Kitty, and she literally speaks mostly in meows.

Then there's Leila, who the judges think looks like a gap-toothed Kristen Stewart. Enough said.

Another frontrunner is Kiara, a musclebound basketball player with a true phoenix-from-the-ashes story. After running away from her abusive childhood home, she managed to win a scholarship and get her life on the track she knew she deserved. She makes The Spice Girls' version of girl power seem feeble.

Yvonne is representing for the plus-size ladies of the world, and Rob Evans is clearly very down.

Finally, there's Victoria, a sort of poor man's, Keira Knightley, who is proud of her home-schooled upbringing—always a sign of creepiness behind closed doors. Tyra asks her to respond to people on Facebook who called her face "boring," and she retorts that because she is part Jewish and part Native American, "Our people were led off on the Trail of Tears and the Holocaust, so if you have a problem with my face, you're racist." You can see Tyra wince.

Then there's Kristin, a cookie-cutter hot blonde whose picture got the most likes on Facebook. She believes the world revolves around her and "you can just be pretty" without bringing anything else to the table. Good luck, we guess.

Our last notable pick is Jessie, a short-haired, pixie-ish nerd who mumbles that some guy at Trader Joe's asked her to model once so…fate, huh?

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